Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
