So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
