Already got asked if we're dating
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
