Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
