What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
