dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
