he looks like a really good dad on facebook
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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