I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Drunk is not a location!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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