lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
