its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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