I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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