He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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