Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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