would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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