thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
