This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
