so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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