I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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