I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
