I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
