HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
