After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
