Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.

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(703): View more from Virginia

he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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(425): View more from Washington

she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.

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(415): View more from California

theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.

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(720): View more from Colorado

when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.

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