Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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