my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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