I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
