i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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