I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
operation harelip BJ is a go
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
