This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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