there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
