Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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