The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm like, not good at living.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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