had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
