I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
