Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
don't judge my taste in strippers
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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