How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
