margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she smelled like a LAN party
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
