Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
