I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
