If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
