I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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