i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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