Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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