He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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