theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
