Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
