Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
