I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
