Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
