I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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